Being a mother is undoubtedly the most beautiful experience of a woman’s life. Nothing in this world could match the feeling of holding your baby for the first time. You will instantly develop a bond, which you have never experienced before. However, motherhood comes with great responsibilities as well, which can be challenging at times and one might feel overwhelmed by the addition of responsibilities. Like any new job, being a parent too takes some time to gain experience and settle your life accordingly. I will be putting forward my experience as a new parent, which consists of a plethora of gaffes, as I was unaware of the dos and don’ts of motherhood. However, I learned from my mistakes and avoided them when I had my second baby. I am penning down my experience in hopes that it might prove helpful for some of you and help you lead the most significant and beautiful phase of your life with utmost happiness rather than continual stress and second-guessing yourself.
Error Committed
When I conceived my first baby (which was to be the first in my family), everyone was excessively excited and I felt there were a lot of expectations from me. Moreover, I had plenty of ‘ifs’ in my mind, which were making me incredibly nervous: would I be able to bring up my child properly, would I be able to take care of him/her on my own, or if it is the right time, etc. All these questions and expectations put me under a lot of pressure and stress and impacted my health.
I have always been very particular about my health and fitness and getting pregnant means going through physical and hormonal changes. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy and people around me started criticizing me for that, although I was barely eating anything because of nausea in the first trimester. Not getting proper diet because of nausea and stress of getting fat resulted in my daughter being anemic and extremely weak. If I had put enough stress on my diet rather than stressing over getting fat, my daughter would not have fallen ill every other day.
Not packing the baby bag properly was one of the biggest gaffes I made as a new parent. I used to pack one spare suit for my baby while going out, which is never enough because vomiting and diaper-leakage is a usual for newborns. Moreover, I did not use to keep a ThermoFlask in my bag, which is a must since you need lukewarm water for making formula milk when you are out. My baby either used to deny having cold milk or even when she did when she was extremely hungry, she would always fall ill and I had to suffer equally because I had to stay up all night with her.
Spending too much on baby clothes is yet another mistake that I will regret for as long as I see those clothes stashed in storage boxes. Children grow fast and that is what I forgot or probably did not want to remember intentionally, since I was really excited for my newborn and wanted her to have the perfect clothes to wear. This excitement only lasted till the clothes I spent thousands on no longer fit her after a month or two.
Internet is flooded with information, most of which is not at all useful. Same goes for the information and home remedies suggested by the elders. I have at times gotten into more trouble for following some of the remedies that I found on the internet or that were suggested to me by well-meaning elders, and learnt that I should always consult a doctor rather than following home remedies.
Though there were many more mistakes, which I cannot account for in one article, these were some, which I find important to be shared. I learned from these mistakes and tried not to repeat them with my second baby.
Tips for New Mothers
Learning from others’ experience always saves you from trouble. I do not want new mothers to miss out on the happiest moments of their life by panicking or stressing over the new responsibilities, like I did, therefore, I am suggesting a few tips based on my experience, which might prove helpful.
First and foremost, when I conceived for the second time, I stopped panicking over having a baby despite the fact that my baby girl was only a year old. I shook off all the worries that I had while having my first and kept only one thing in my mind that Allah has blessed me with the greatest blessing of all because He knows I am ready, He knows it is the right time and He will give me the strength to bring up and take care of this baby as well. Positive thinking, taking it as a blessing rather than burden, helped me calm my nerves this time.
Make your own diet plan or consult your doctor regarding it. You need good diet for the development of your baby. You are going through physical change, so it is completely fine if you are gaining weight. Embrace the body change you are going through, during and after pregnancy.
Spend money wisely on your baby clothes. Buy clothes preferably on sale so that you do not cry when these clothes no longer fit your baby. Moreover, try to borrow clothes from people around you who had a newborn a few months before you. This would help save some money and will save you from heartache as well.
Carrying the baby all the time in the initial days makes him/her used to it and believe me when I say they are going to pour their eyes out and scream their head off when you think of leaving them in their cot, bouncer or bed. So, do not let them develop this habit by carrying them all the time.
Get a big baby bag or caddy in which you can fit all the baby essentials. Watch tutorials, they will help plenty in getting an idea about packing baby bag.
Always consult a doctor when your baby is sick rather than trying home remedies.
Let your partner share the responsibilities, so that you get to have some time for yourself as well.
Baby Essentials Checklist
Not making a baby essentials checklist was yet another mistake I made. I skipped out on so many things just because I had not prepared a checklist beforehand and I obviously used to forget things because of pregnancy brain. Preparing a list consisting of all the baby essentials you could think of, preferably in first or Second trimester, would help you be prepared in advance. Try buying most of the things if not everything on the list in your second trimester because you will have renewed energy levels after experiencing nausea and exhaustion in the first trimester. This way you won’t be panicking or rushing in the last days of your pregnancy when you need rest the most. I have prepared a checklist that might help you get a basic idea of what to get before the baby arrives.
• Baby Clothes: Get swaddles, blankets, rompers, bodysuits, inners, trousers and shirts etc., depending on your budget and preference.
• Bath Essentials: Buy good quality shampoo, soap or body wash, baby lotion (preferably not scented), baby towel, and bath tub.
• Diapering Essentials: Buy newborn diaper packs, unscented wipes, rash cream and scented diaper bags for disposing diapers.
• Baby Feeding Essentials: Buy feeders, thermos, bibs, bottle warmer and sterilizer (if you feel the need to).
• Baby Grooming Kit: Get nail clipper or filer, small scissors, nasal aspirator, thermometer, etc. You can either buy them individually or invest on kit that includes all these essentials and is easily available on online stores.
• Baby Gear Essentials: Get a stroller, car seat, bouncer or rocker as per your preference and need.
• Caddy: I highly suggest buying a good quality caddy for keeping all basic baby essentials. You can keep it by your bedside and carry it around easily without any hassle.
These are some of the basic essentials I have jotted down. You can add or skip something keeping in view your preference, need and budget.
Organize your life according to the change you are about to have or just had. Don’t panic. This is the most beautiful phase of your life, Allah has blessed you with such a great blessing, so do not let fear and stress overtake this exciting period of your life. Enjoy while it lasts because they grow up so fast! HH
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