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Hilal Her

The Art of Becoming Your Child’s Best Friend

July 2024

The friendship between a parent and a child is a unique bond that goes beyond the traditional roles of authority and guidance. It is built on mutual respect, understanding, and trust. Becoming your child's friend involves cultivating a relationship that allows for open communication, shared experiences, and a deep sense of companionship. 



As your child grows and develops a few strategies are required to maintain authority and setting boundaries.
Respect their Independence: While being involved in your child’s life is essential, respect their need for independence and autonomy. Allow them to make decisions and learn from their mistakes while offering guidance and support when needed.
Be Empathetic: Show empathy and understanding towards your child’s feelings and experiences. Validate their emotions and offer support and comfort during difficult times.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and expectations while allowing room for negotiation and compromise. Consistency is critical in enforcing boundaries and maintaining mutual respect.
Celebrate their Achievements: Take pride in your child’s accomplishments, big or small. Celebrate their successes and milestones, and tell them you are proud of their efforts and achievements.
Be Supportive During Challenges: Life is full of ups and downs, and being there for your child during challenging times is essential. Offer support, encouragement, and reassurance when they face obstacles or setbacks, and help them develop resilience and coping skills.
Respect their Privacy: While it's essential to maintain open communication, respect your child's privacy and boundaries. Avoid prying or invading their personal space, and encourage them to share what they feel comfortable sharing with you.
Learn their Love Language: Just as adults have different love languages, children also have unique ways of expressing and receiving love. Pay attention to how your child responds to affection, praise, and quality time, and tailor your interactions accordingly.
Be Present: When spending time with your child, try to be fully present and engaged. Put away distractions such as phones or work-related tasks and focus on enjoying quality time together.
Show Affection: Express your love and affection for your child through words, gestures, and touch. Hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation can strengthen your bond and make your child feel loved and valued.
Apologise when Necessary: Nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes as a parent. When you do, apologise sincerely and take responsibility for your actions. This teaches your child the importance of humility, accountability, and forgiveness.
Encourage their Individuality: Celebrate your child’s unique qualities and encourage them to embrace their individuality. Avoid imposing your expectations or ideals onto them, and support them in discovering and expressing their true selves.
Practise Active Listening: Truly listen to your child’s thoughts, feelings, and concerns without interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Practise active listening by giving them your full attention, asking clarifying questions, and validating their emotions.
Be their Advocate: Stand up for your child and advocate for their needs and rights at home and in the broader world. Show them that you are their ally and will always support them in standing up for themselves and others.
Open Communication: Create a safe and non-judgmental space for your child to express themselves. Encourage them to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly, and listen attentively without interrupting or dismissing their concerns.
Shared Activities: Find activities that you both enjoy and make time to do them together regularly. Whether it’s playing sports, cooking, or exploring nature, shared experiences help strengthen your bond and create lasting memories.
Lead by Example: Be a role model for the kind of friend you want to be to your child. Demonstrate kindness, honesty, and integrity in your actions and interactions with others.
Stay Connected: Make an effort to stay connected with your child, even during busy or challenging times. Regularly check in with them, both in person and through other means of communication, to show that you are there for them no matter what.
Laugh Together: Laughter is a powerful bonding tool that can strengthen your relationship with your child. Find opportunities to share jokes, funny stories, or lighthearted moments together, and enjoy each other’s company.
Be Patient and Understanding: Parenting can be challenging, and there will be times when your child tests your patience. Stay calm, be empathetic, and try to see things from their perspective. Respond with understanding and compassion rather than anger or frustration.
Encourage Independence: Foster your child’s independence by giving them opportunities to make their own decisions and take on age-appropriate responsibilities. Encourage them to explore their interests and pursue their passions, even if they differ from your own.
Share Your Own Experiences: Share stories from your own childhood or experiences that relate to what your child is going through. This can help them feel connected to you and learn valuable lessons from your own life experiences.
Be Flexible: Flexibility is key in maintaining a positive and harmonious relationship with your child. Be willing to adapt to changing circumstances and be open to trying new things together.
Learn from Each Other: Embrace the opportunity to learn from your child and vice versa. Children have unique perspectives and insights that can enrich your own life and broaden your understanding of the world.
Prioritize Quality Time: Make quality time with your child a priority in your busy schedule. Set aside dedicated time each day or week to spend together, whether it's playing games, going for walks, or simply talking and connecting.
Stay Connected Through Technology: In today’s digital age, technology can be a valuable tool for staying connected with your child, especially if you are separated by distance. Use video calls, messaging apps, and social media to stay in touch and share moments from your lives.
Encourage Healthy Boundaries: Help your child develop healthy boundaries in their relationships by teaching them to assert themselves and respect the boundaries of others. This fosters mutual respect and creates a foundation for healthy friendships and relationships in the future.
Be their Biggest Cheerleader: Support your child’s interests and passions wholeheartedly, and encourage them to pursue their dreams with confidence and determination. Be their biggest cheerleader and believe in their potential to achieve greatness.
Reflect and Adjust: Take time to reflect on your relationship with your child regularly and be willing to make adjustments as needed. Parenting is a journey of continuous growth and learning, and being open to feedback and self-improvement strengthens your bond with your child.
Create Traditions and Rituals: Establishing traditions and rituals helps create a sense of belonging and continuity in your relationship with your child. Whether it’s a weekly movie night, a yearly camping trip, or a special holiday tradition, these rituals create lasting memories and strengthen your bond.
Be their Safe Haven: Create a safe and nurturing environment where your child feels comfortable being themselves without fear of judgement or rejection. Be their confidant and ally, and let them know that they can always come to you for support and guidance.


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