Working mothers attract unsolicited advice and the conflicting verbatim above reveals how on the one hand society expects women to balance work and motherhood but when working mothers attempt to do so, they find themselves at a disadvantage due to lack of facilitation and experience of stigmatization. Where the experience of motherhood presents inherent challenges for women, these are compounded for those who also participate in paid employment, and partake dual roles of a mother and an employee.
Maternal Bias
Working mothers are subject to the “maternal bias,” which is the belief, either consciously or subconsciously, that they cannot effectively balance their work and maternal responsibilities. If a mother achieves brilliance at work, it often leads people to question her ability as a mother. Likewise, if a female employee is an exceptional parent, there may be postulations that she does not excel at work. This bias can be undermining and disempowering. The faulty assumption that working mothers are neglectful or less committed to their role as a parent is based on unfounded beliefs. Conventional gendered socialization from media and family positions motherhood as a woman’s primary focus, and suggests that working outside the home is a secondary, and sometimes even detrimental, pursuit. As a result, working mothers may face not only external judgments and biases from coworkers, managers, and the society as a whole, but also internal conflicts about whether they are “doing enough” as mothers or as professionals. Many organizations operate on the principle that the opportunity cost for hiring females, especially mothers, is higher due to their increased likelihood of taking extended leaves of absence from work. Female employees have had to bear with job interviewers posing queries related to marriage and motherhood to gauge the candidate’s potential availability and commitment to the job.
Workplace stereotyping against working mothers labelling them as less competent and less ambitious paves way for “motherhood penalty” where they are passed over for promotions, pay raises and high-profile projects. Studies have shown how female employees worry about what getting married or having a child would mean for their careers. Working mothers may find it difficult to say no to work commitments, in order to prove their commitments to their job, which results in them taking more than they can handle.
Struggling with Mommy Guilt
Experiences of guilt may stem from the societal norms surrounding the idealized role of mothers that pose a challenge in navigating the complex interplay between work obligations and familial duties. Working mothers have to match up with certain cultural expectations, such as providing home cooked meals, participating in certain family events and being present at parent-teacher meetings.
A working mother shared: “I was not there when my son said his first word … I was not there when my son walked, took a step for the first time. I feel I missed out on many moments of mothering. When I cannot be there for my children when they are achieving major milestones, I myself deduct my score from the motherhood scale.”
The guilt and self-doubts can subsequently result in a vicious negative cycle where the more guilt a mother feels, the less confident and effective she may become at work and at home. Working mothers may feel a sense of remorse when compelled to delegate parental responsibilities to others, such as daycare provider or a maid/domestic help. Mom guilt may be exacerbated due to the prevailing culture of overwork and presenteeism in many workplaces.
Lack of Workplace Support
The inadequacy of childcare support in the form of daycare centers at workplaces, along with lack of provision of flexible work arrangements does not provide a conducive environment for working mothers who need to balance multiple responsibilities.
A working mother shared: “My workplace did not have a day care center so I enrolled my two-year-old at a nearby center. Though I utilize my lunch break time to go meet my son, I have had to hear almost daily that I skip work for many hours and am now a ‘mother’ more than a ‘professional.’ I continue to try to prove that working mothers are equally professional.”
As a result of the many issues they face, working mothers may not have the same level of flexibility as other colleagues with regards to after-work or non-work informal socializing events, creating a sense of “otherness” and disconnection from the workplace culture for them as well as their colleagues.
Time Poverty
Time poverty is a subjective feeling of time scarcity, that one does not have enough time to accomplish all necessary tasks, regardless of the actual amount of time available. Classical sociological feminist literature coined the term “second shift” to refer to unpaid labor like cleaning, food preparation, caregiving for children and other family members at home performed by employed females in addition to paid productive work performed in the formal sector.
A working mother of two school going children shared how she combats the time crunch. She said: “My typical day starts with waking up early to prepare breakfast, pack school lunch boxes, then rush to work and complete job duties within a set timeframe. After work, I have to pick up my children, prepare dinner, help with their homework and attend to other household duties.”
Another working mother, upon her return to work from her second maternity leave, was met with unfavorable remarks from colleagues. She shared: “At the workplace I am told that I am not giving my 100 percent to the job because of kids back home whereas in reality, I am doing the job of four people at one time.”
The overwhelming feeling of constantly rushing from one task to another makes working mothers prone to burnout. The general assumption that mothering stops when children reach a certain age, like adolescence, needs to be reworked as it is a continual process, requiring newer forms of mothering with each stage in the lifecycle of the child.
Realigning Professional Aspirations
Women may face barriers to career advancement due to the unfounded assumption that they will prioritize their caregiving responsibilities over professional pursuits. Finding themselves under-confident to balance work and life, women have had to realign their careers to suit family life and making difficult choices such as reducing work hours, or even dropping out of labor force altogether. Working mothers find themselves stepping back from being competitive to seek promotions perceiving they would have to compromise their ability to do justice to the double role of mother and employee. The prevalence of “doctor brides” reveals how some women who pursue rigorous medical education and training may confront societal pressures that compel them to delay or abandon their professional aspirations.
Gender-Inclusive Approaches at Workplace
The abovementioned challenges and stigmatization of working mothers can also contribute to gender inequality in the workplace. The need is to recognize and value the unique challenges and contributions of working mothers in the society. It is worth mentioning that working mothers have the potential to be positive role models for their children, imparting significant values like independence, responsibility, and work ethic. Workplaces may have to re-examine stereotypical pre-conceptions to adopt gender-inclusive approaches that facilitate diverse needs of their workforce. Recently, many organizations have initiated programs aiming to re-launch careers of women who, after a break of few years owing to pregnancy or other concerns, would like to contribute to work again.
Working mothers should be facilitated through the provision of childcare support networks, flexible work arrangements, and gender-equitable attitudes within their communities. To increase women’s autonomy and independence, significant social engineering efforts are needed to modify the regressive cultural and societal norms surrounding women’s roles. And before we talk of highfaluting aspirations of policy and legislation in this regard, we need to first change our attitudes and modify norms as a society. HH
Email:[email protected]
Comments