Miscellaneous

Mommy Conundrum: Why Mothers Need an Independent Vacation

If you are a woman, indisputably, you must have elegantly held your accolades high, reveling in the thought of the backbreaking journey that made you well deserving of this: the premium bonus of being called a super-woman. And why not? A woman is a strong creation with an imperishable ability to multitask, single-handedly salvaging her own little world and substituting the wrecks with giggles. This status of being a super-woman supremely coincides with being a mother; a 24/7 call of duty with sleep-deprived eyes, aching back, strained muscles, yet hands so deftly handling sudden diaper-changing duties merit thumping praise. It is, indeed, a beautiful feeling to be praised for all the strengths that mothers possess, but what is alarming is that these strong mothers are so invested in their home-making duties that they stay oblivious to how their own strength needs a break every now and then for its maintenance and sustenance.

Dear superb mothers, although your child needs you, but you need to regain your strength to provide your child with the best. A mommy’s independent vacation, in this regard, will always come in handy, because believe it or not, a mom-cation is just as important for the child as it is for the mother herself. Mommies, not only you, but your child also deserves to see you rejuvenated.
Mothers do wake up filled with love for the cute, cuddly, tiny beings that are a precious gift from God. It’s a feeling one cradles in the heart till the last breath escapes that piece of flesh. For all I know, nothing in the world is as mesmerizing as the kisses and cuddles one showers on a child. It is beautiful to rock one’s baby to sleep and all the metaphors in the world fail to tell that the sweet, sweet muscle pain is all worth it. However, super humans also need to let their human-ness sink in. Mothers are epitomes of perfection for the helpless babies, but would it be any beneficial if the muscle strain worsens, and God forbid causes one to be unable to rock the baby? It is exquisite the way mothers are unimaginably close to their children, and would never be satisfied until they have catered to their child’s need the way they find it best. However, a mother must take a break every now and then to adjust her clocks, wear off her exhaustion, and come back to her baby full of her energy that she is bound to lose when she spends too much time giving it all. 
When motherhood overflows, moms take complete charge of the babies and inevitably make them dependent. When they grow up, their demands start orbiting around their super-woman. The problem solver is surely going to fly in through the window and save the day. It creates dilemmas later in life when the same children require to make decisions about their own life. Their selection of an educational career, for instance, starts largely depending on their mothers’ decisions or desires and ultimately, children end up being unhappy in whatever they choose to do because their decision is contingent upon their super-fellow’s perception of things. It is one of the biggest impasses today, which is stemming out of extreme dependency on mothers. If a child cannot decide what to wear, how to make his/her breakfast, or eat without being served at the table, the child is going to be indecisive throughout his/her life.
If a mother takes a break every now and then, she is sure to allow the children to find their own way into the cupboards and decide the clothes they want to wear. For once, relax on an island maybe, and allow them to control the amount of spices to be added while they cook their life, until they have learnt how all the ingredients blend for the best taste; allow their own experiences to nurture them. Yes, these experiences can be directed, but every now and then, it wouldn’t hurt anyone to let them take the steering wheel of their own day and guide themselves through it. While they learn that, take a back seat, and let music be the food of your soul.
Dear mommies, I ask you not to feel bad about being absent from your child’s life for a little while. Try to take a vacation; watch the disciplined blue waves thrashing against the rocks on Corfu Island, or enjoy the view of sea merging with the sky while seated on the back of an elephant in Patong, or replenish your drained stock of energy by enjoying the calm of mesmerizing waters in the Maldives. The mountains, rivers, gardens, oceans, festivals, all are calling you to take a break. Do not worry if the vacation sounds expensive, because it’s all up to you to cut your budget. Try something as small as a visit to your friends or parents for a coffee as it may work wonders. 
It is understandable that even a mother’s vacation might completely be invested in worries over how her child is being attended to. But you can always take an hour or two off every day, and take that art class you have always craved for or join the women’s club where they laugh their hearts out, or even go for a simple morning walk, or do anything, absolutely anything that brings peace to your soul.
It’s hard for a woman to trust her baby with someone other than her own self for a long time. But a little support always goes a long way. This help, should come from fathers and grandparents, who also need to strengthen their bond with the child. To save your worries a bit, allow fathers to take up the roles of a mother and experience the beautiful relationship of dependency that your children enjoy with you. Leaving the child with a father is also the safest. A mom-cation would mean a father bonding with his children in an entirely different domain. Thus, while mommy adjusts her clock to keep it ticking, let the baby cuddle with their super-man. 
Super-mommies, do not let yourself break because there is a lifetime of cradling the child, in your heart even if their body outgrows your lap. Dear moms, do not let the appreciation of your super-m0mminess steer you to a dead-end where breaking down is inescapable. Do not let your pieces bring up your child, because, yes, you are a super human, but a human nonetheless! HH


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